Friday, August 31, 2012

Frankly Friday...v1

Welcome to the first time ever for Frankly Friday! 
WootWOOT. 
{Grab the button for your post on the right side of my blog}
Months ago i wrote a post about being honest
Honesty is something that i believe (and wish) all people should practice. 
Let's define Frankly shall we...
frankly |ˈfra ng klē|adverbin an open, honest, and direct manner
. . .
I want this to be a way for all of us to be open, raw, and transparent with not only each other...but with ourselves. I think we put a lot of stock into the "fear" of what others may think of us...into the "fear" of really putting what's on your heart out there in case someone decides to tear you down.
I'm over the fear & you should be too.
So let's write...whether it's about a situation you're struggling through, a victory you've made, a memory that you can't let go of...anything as long as it's honest.
. . .
I'll start. 
It's true. Currently my mind and my heart feel like they are falling down the tunnel into Wonderland. 
Anyone else know what i'm talking about.
You see, most of it has to do with the past
I don't let go of it, i know...such a healthy habit to have. 
I think it stems from loosing my parents when i was younger and the past...the pain i feel from the past allows me to still hold on, to still remember. Let me explain it a little easier. Even though it's painful...it reminds me that it was real, that they (my parents) were once alive, that it (any situation) was authentic...that i'm not just making it up. 
I think it's good, healthy even, to remind yourself of the good AND bad times that you've walked through in your life. I think it helps to keep us grounded, and continues to push us into a better tomorrow. The problem with that is when you hold on/live in the past; you miss out in the present. It's the same as someone who lives in the future...they (I am) are missing out on the current blessings of today. It seems pretty straight-forward: don't live in the past
Unfortunately it's easier said than done, at least for me. 
I can have a hard time controlling which waves i choose to surf. Most of the time...i surf the wrong wave and end up crashing and burning into the sand getting scraped up, burned, and feeling dejected. 
It all starts off innocently...and then i'm stuck in the land of "what ifs" and "why nots" and i just tack on more time during the healing process.
FRANKLY I'm sick of it.
I don't enjoy conjuring up old feelings, old memories, old romances
...but in the same breathe it makes me feel whole again.
That's the point isn't it:
When we go through a trying time, when we invest in someone romantically, when we put forth effort
We're giving a piece of ourselves away...
A piece that will never really come back once it's gone.
So, living within those memories helps us to feel whole again.
but...
I've found an out, if you want/care to know.
Yes, those pieces of ourselves are forever gone, they are tangled up in the 'what was' of our pasts, but that doesn't mean that we (I) have to live there in order to feel whole. Praise God.
No, we can become whole even with those pieces missing.
God can restore us.
He can restore my heart, He can fill me with the love i have lost, and repair the damage i've allowed to happen. He can make me into a better, more wise, woman if i would only allow Him to do it.
I really could kick myself.
I'm making this so much more difficult than it should be...because i.want.to.be.in.control.
Can i get an AMEN?
Who is with me?
. . .
 
It's going to take effort and time and patience for me to really let go of the past to embrace the present. This isn't a habit i picked up over night; it won't be a habit i'll change over night.
This will be a work in progress.
. . .
What about you?
What are you having to be frank with yourself about?
Link up so i can read your stories. 

8 comments:

Katie said...

(hugs) I identify with this so much. I also have a BIG problem with living in the past. Not about my parents, but about dwelling on things that happened, especially in relationships. I have never heard someone explain like you just did, like you're trying to feel whole, and that really struck me. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. You really helped me to understand more about me too. Here's to becoming the new whole version of ourselves that God will bring to restoration.

Laura said...

Ahhh but aren't we all a work in progress? My Bible study group used to joke that they were going to make me a tshirt that said "werkin' on it" because I said it so much. :)

I love this post! Because it's truth! Because you told my story. Because, while I'm not 100% whole yet I am soooo much closer to whole than I was 10 years ago... and it's all because of God! He is good! He is our restorer!

Oh! I have so much I want to share but I have to get Liza to school and spend the day at the new house. I might have to write up an email for you later. :) Have a great day!!

Genna said...

Ah Amy, this was such a refreshing post. Thank you so much for sharing. And I so enjoy this link up, just so you know. I really am gonna make a mustache like in the button and do this as a blog someday!

Camille said...

I think we're all works in progress... And that's ok. :)

Beverly said...

I couldn't have put it better (regarding your button about feelings are like waves). I am so sorry you went through the loss of your parents hun, as I know it isn't easy to lose a loved one. You grieve and grieve, and it still doesn't go away. You will always think about the ones we lost, but it's up to you what you do what those feelings... like your button says. Choose which waves to ride... and I think our loved ones we lost are worth celebrating, don't you?

I hope it gets easier for you... and remember to take one day at a time!

xoxo, Bev

Melissa said...

Love this post. That last pic (about re-reading the last chapter) is SO me right now... sigh.

HUGS, girl! Love this "frankly friday"!

All Grown Up and Single said...

Hi Amy! I'm a brand new follower as of today. I found your blog because a friend of a friend had your bad date story linked to hers. Anyway, this entry is a God-send. I've made a lot of good choices lately, but it's hard to continue with them. I love how you put that- we keep going back to the past because it makes us FEEL whole. But we don't have to... Thank you, thank you, thank you SO MUCH for the encouragement to keep going. I really appreciate it.

Amy @ Not Your Average Baby Blog said...

This is great, Amy! And I don't just love it because I'm Amy too ; )

This is a really great idea for a link up. I tend to not get too deep in blog posts because I like to think of my blog as a way to "escape" from the deep stuff, but it definitely has a place when you can say something that helps others. I think that's exactly what this post does! Such a good reminder! : )

New follower!